Introduction

Hello there! I wanted to introduce myself and tell you what my blog is all about and where I am coming from. I am in my early 20s and have grappled with anxiety, depression and being misunderstood ever since I was born…and I mean quite literally. I received a diagnosis of aspergers before it was apart of autism when I was 4 because I was just different and people were trying to find out why I was not a social butterfly like all the other angelic kids.

I mean, I was demonic, at least, I don’t want to think of myself as that. My parents referred to me as that. It wasn’t that I was mean or violent, but I was very determined, hyperactive and stubborn. I still am today but in a more acceptable, mature way: I am a go getter and will not stop at my goals. …So to be publishing my problems instead of doing something out in the world is a little counter intuitive to me, but the fact is I like to write and express myself, and I am so thankful for the internet to be able to do so freely.

My childhood started with a diagnosis of aspergers and being that weird child but the problems only became manifestly burdensome when I entered adolescence. I faced major depression and crippling anxiety. I never got tested for these. I was mad about the aspergers diagnosis and I have adopted a negative view of naming my diagnoses. I’m messed up and I struggle, there is nothing to it. Maybe treatment would help now? …but when I was kid all it brought were tons of pills and therapists with sleepy voices.

My story and time of growing up is unique. I now realize that as I was growing up the world was criminally bias against mental health. It is quite amazing much the attitude toward mental health has changed in the past 16 years. I point to the media for this because of the portrayal of bullying and the true mental, emotional anguish of the protagonists with mental disorders. It is not a bad thing because I think awareness is great, but subsequent over-glorification of depression and anxiety is a side effect that still needs to be addressed. There is still a ton we do not know, like how to cure it and how to integrate mentally ill people with mentally healthy people. If someone was a cripple, we would still connect with them, but if someone had a mental handicap, we are more reluctant to connect and still give several yards to prevent making that person our ‘BFF’.

Social skills and knowing how to connect mean the difference between connecting and establishing last relationships. That is how it is but how do we then make this possible for the mental handicap population?

This is my perspective. I will post my experiences, as well as reflections, with my mental health issues. My story is pretty unique as you guys will see, just my social support, my luck (good and bad), my school environment, and my passions. If you have a story, questions, thoughts, please feel free to comment. I love discussions and learning what other people have to say. I really just want to inspire others and share my experience.

-Infinity

 

 

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